How to Propose: The Checklist

How to Propose: The Checklist

It’s a story you and your future spouse will tell over and over (and over!) again: how you popped the question. It sets the tone for the celebrations to follow, and it’s a way for you to express just what your significant other means to you. So how you ask is something that deserves a lot of thought and consideration.

From selecting the ring to selecting how to do it, our checklist offers everything you need to know before asking the big question.

1. Selecting the ring

The first step in deciding how to propose: choosing what to propose with. This decision is quite momentous in itself because an engagement ring is an investment piece. For ideas about where to start on your ring search, consult our step-by-step guidelines. You may also want to consider designing your own ring.

2. Picking a method and finding a location

The how and the where set the tone for the occasion. The first thing to consider: is there a location that’s significant to your relationship? A place you met, the restaurant you went for your first date, a destination that you’ve both always wanted to visit. These are all great places to start.

The second consideration when choosing a method and location: your significant other’s personality. For example, if your significant other tends to shy away from the spotlight, you may not want to pop the question in a restaurant full of people. Think of personality first when brainstorming ideas.

3. Setting the date

Now that you have a location in mind, make any reservations you may need well in advance. You also want to make sure that your significant other will be available at the designated date and time. Enlist help if you need it. Increase the element of surprise by having a friend set up an evening out with your significant other.

As you get closer to the date, think about what you want to say—and practice. You don’t want to fumble through the moment you’ll both remember for the rest of your lives.

Something else to consider in advance: whether or not you want to speak with your significant other’s parents first. Some parents expect to be asked for permission, and some just like the consideration of being in on the secret from the beginning.

4. Documenting the moment

Consider whether or not to have someone photograph the memorable occasion. It may not make sense for you if you’ve decided to propose in a secluded place or if you don’t want to let anyone else in on the secret. Otherwise, think of asking a relative, friend, or even a professional photographer to capture the moment. It will be a photograph that you both will love to show off. It also makes a great save-the-date card.

5. Sending around the good news

Once your significant other has said yes, you’ll both want to spread the word. Think about how you might like to tell everyone. Whether it’s a text message, an email, or a phone call to a select list of people, consider whether you want to let everyone know right away, or wait a day and keep the news to yourselves for a bit.

A thoughtful extra for her

Once everyone hears the news, expect to be flooded with requests for close-ups of the ring. Your new fiancé will want to put her best hand forward. You’ll get bonus points for thoughtfulness if you can get your girlfriend a manicure before the proposal without tipping her off. Recruit her mother, sister or friend to treat her.